I finally meet the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with.  She's my prettier and smarter half.  She keeps me grounded and her optimism is so infectious that I feel I can achieve anything.  After years of being together it was time to take the relationship to the next level, marriage.  The ride has been full of laughter and love.  She’s my partner in crime.  In this regard, we are perfect.

But marriage has forced us to address an issue that we've been putting off for some time now, having a baby.  I want 1, she doesn’t.  She's never felt the yearning for 1.  She thought that it would change as she gets older but it hasn't.  She's 30 years old and I'm 40.  We are only childs.  We’ve been together for 5 years. 

My stance on the subject is that I want at least 1 child with her.  I think it’s a biological imperative for 2 semi-attractive and semi-smart people to procreate.  I would like her to be taken cared of in her old age if I’m no longer around.  I think we would have a beautiful child together.  Am I being too selfish?  I come from a large nurturing and supporting family and maybe I’m following what I know is normal?  Her mom and my parents would like a grandchild.

Her stance on the subject is that she’s never wanted 1.  She doesn’t have that yearning to have 1 nor is her biological clock telling her that she needs to.  Babies to her are gross and she can’t see herself taking care of 1.  A lot of it could be because the only family she has or has known all her life is her mom.  It was just mother and daughter against the world.  She has an uncle that is hundreds of miles away that she never keeps in touch with so his family is pretty much non-existent to her.  I wonder if this is also a factor in her viewpoint?  In this regard, is she being selfish?  Her friends tell her that it’ll change, but when?

We talked about this and have concluded that 1 of us will have to make the ultimate sacrifice.  She feels that if I were to make the sacrifice then she changes her mind 5-10 years from now that it’ll be unfair for me because I would be much older.  I feel that it’s not my place to ask her to make such a huge sacrifice.  There is no doubt that we love each other and want to spend our lives together.

This is our dilemma.  We are looking for opinions/feedback on this subject.